It’s ok, not to be ok.

This year has not started off as brilliantly as I had hoped, half of the family got Covid, we were trying to work with kids at home, our furnace broke, our basement flooded, insurance wasn’t cooperating, just one thing after another. The worlds heaviness added to it: Ukraine, Covid, climate change. It got me into a funk, the positive side was hard to find, my inner critic took me to town, and everything just felt heavy.

I am sure everyone recognizes those days, because we ALL have them. There is no escape. And that is just what we try to do, escape the dark days. We tell ourselves we are fine, we can white-knuckle it, we numb ourselves in whatever way, and hope it passes quickly.

From an early age we hear that we need to be resilient, get up, dust yourself off, and move on. But that is not all that resilience is. Resilience is also understanding that life isn’t always easy, it’s listening to yourself, allowing your emotions, going through them. THEN coming out on the other end, getting up and feeling ready to take on the world (or a tiny bit of it), because of that journey. It is much more self-compassionate than just getting on with life, saying everything is fine.

There is power in allowing yourself to go through emotions. It helps us grow our understanding of ourselves so that the next time the storm comes, we recognize these feelings, we know how to move through them a little faster and the waves feel more manageable. It also helps our connection with people. When we reach out, it deepens our relationships. And even if we don’t connect to others in the moment, it helps us be able to be more empathic when others are going through a rough patch.

What would it look like if you would give yourself permission to not be ok? Maybe start by acknowledging it? Then be curious, practice self-compassion, and take care of yourself. There are some simple ways to help you work through your discomfort, like meditation, physical activity, tapping, journaling, talking to a friend, a therapist, a coach.

So tell me next time you are feeling these emotions, will it be ok to not be ok?