Take a breather before you respond

From Reaction to Response: A Leadership Shift That Changes Everything

The other day, I had a conversation with a client that really stuck with me.

He was sharing how, in moments of frustration with his team—like when someone didn’t greet a customer or took a longer lunch than expected, he’d find himself reacting instantly. A curt comment here, a passive-aggressive tone there. No big blowups, but enough to leave tension in the air.

It’s such a human thing to do, right? We care about the work, we want things to go well, and when they don’t, we react. Fast. Almost automatically.

But here’s the thing: great leadership lives in the space between stimulus and response.

We talked about the power of pausing, even if it’s just for a few seconds. That moment can be the difference between leading from frustration or leading from intention.

Here’s what that pause might include:

1. Notice your emotions.
What’s actually going on inside you? Is it frustration, embarrassment, disappointment? Often, just naming what we’re feeling gives us a little distance from it.

2. Move from reaction to response.
A reaction is immediate, emotionally charged, and often defensive. A response is thoughtful, clear, and rooted in what you truly want—for yourself and your team.

3. Practice equanimity.
This word doesn’t get used enough in leadership circles, but it should. Equanimity is the ability to remain calm and grounded in the middle of stress or chaos. It doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you can stay centered enough to choose your words and actions wisely.

This shift—from reaction to response—isn’t just about being a “nicer” leader. It’s about being an effective one. Someone people trust, feel safe around, and want to grow with.

So the next time your team misses the mark, take a beat. Breathe. Get curious before you get critical. You might be surprised how much more impact you can have when you lead from a calm, grounded place.