Taking the spotlight on social media

Who hasn’t heard of the Joe Rogan debacle by now? Discussions heat up on social media, between friends, and in families: Should Joe Rogan stay or go? Should others stay or leave? Cancel culture, freedom of speech, capitalism, greed, public health, and political alignment, they all come together in this debate.

Discussions have become hardened and it seems nuance has left our vocabulary. You are either for or against, choose which side you are on and stick with it. The openminded have become judgmental, the empaths are hating on the stuck-ups, and the moderates have taken sides. As a result some feel emboldened to say whatever they feel like and disregard the impact of their words. Others have stopped taking part in discussions out of fear for repercussions on their comments. And yet we need discussion more than ever, openminded conversations, listening to one another, being open to feedback. We need to welcome new voices, different voices, voices who are scared to give their opinion and say it anyway.

So how do we show up, how do we speak up, and how do we support those who are giving the spotlight a go? As I was thinking of creating this list of 5 Do’s or 7 rules that, reading from top to bottom, form the word EMPATHY, etc., I kept coming back to three simple rules that my daughter learns in elementary school:

1.    Be kind – Check in with yourself: Would you want anyone to say this about you? About your group, your circle, your family? You can get your point across without being aggressive. People do not have to agree with you, you can say things that aren’t popular beliefs, and you can spread ideas that go against the grain. And you can remain kind.

2.    Be respectful – Listen to others, show empathy, be grateful, acknowledge people, say thank you, appreciate differences, respect boundaries, speak with integrity. Simple gestures like these bring us a long way.

3.    Do your best – So often people just blurt whatever comes to mind first without any consideration, not paying attention to the impact it might have. When you actively try to get the best words out there, you’ll find yourself thinking twice and checking in.

In my work, I help people to find their voice and step into the spotlight. The spotlight is there in many ways; being a leader in your company, starting a women’s group in the male dominated tech-space, launching a book, or a political campaign. Everyone who seeks the spotlight comes to a point where they realize that this is their moment to speak up. And then, fear sets in. The negative self-talk starts and the inner judge comes up with a million reasons not to speak up. Then the fear of what others might think is added to the mix. And yet working through these fears and doing it anyway is so worth it. Because that’s how we grow, personally and as a community. So let’s talk, let’s get out in the spotlight and have conversations, and let’s be kind and respectful to one another so we can grow together.